Just What I Kneeded

What happens after a life-altering knee injury?

Jammin’ in the OR

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Music in the operating room is pretty prevalent. (Here’s a good read on the connectedness of music and medicine.) There have been studies on the value and effect it has on the OR staff and the patient, and it’s mostly positive. Unless it’s death metal. That’s not good for anyone. Surgeons seem to be steadied by the music, and there are apparently a lot who make their own playlists.

I’ve wondered about the music my surgeons listen to in the OR (I guess I haven’t actually confirmed that they even listen to music, but I’m going with it). I assume they’re the ones who pick it. But maybe they take a poll and see what the general consensus is on the music that should be played. I dunno. What I think they should do, though, is ask me what kind of music I’d like.

What songs would I include on my surgery soundtrack? I can tell you what I don’t want to hear. I definitely don’t want to hear “Another One Bites the Dust” or Dylan’s “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” But if I could put together a soundtrack for surgery, I might include the following:

Arriving in the OR: At first, I was going to say “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns ‘N Roses, but I forgot the line in there that goes “You’re down in the jungle baby, you’re gonna die.” Um, yeah. That’s not putting good vibes out there. So, instead, I’ll go with “It’s Time” by Imagine Dragons. Check it. I’m hip. As long as hip defines someone who listens to Radio Disney on the way to work because “there’s nothing else on the radio!” Scratch that. In an attempt to regain some cred, I might instead go with “I’m Not Afraid” by Eminem.

Drifting off to sleep: Obviously, I need to hear something soothing when the anesthesiologist sends me to dreamland. Maybe something like “I Believe I Can Fly.” Oh, oooh. Maybe “The Fighter” by Gym Class Heroes. It’s smooth and totes motivational. Oh, wait, no! I think I’d go with “Peaceful, Easy Feeling” by the Eagles. That one is sure to set a good tone, right?

Making the first incision: “Ridin’ Solo” by Jason DeRulo. Dude. At this point, it’s all on the surgeon. I’m out.

Cutting the bone: “Under Pressure” by Queen. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to remind my surgeon the pressure is totally on him. So he better not screw up.

Tightening the screws: “Fix You” by Coldplay. Obviously. Because that’s what going on.

Sewing it up: I think at this point “All Alright” by Fun. would be appropriate. Why? Because I hope it is.

Waking up: “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor seems like the logical choice here. If I’ve made it this far, I hope it’s a safe bet. Or maybe “Better Days Ahead” by Paul Thorn because this should be about as bad as it gets, right?

Some of the songs that didn’t make the cut include: “Under the Bridge” by Red Hot Chili Peppers (too melancholy), “Today My Life Begins” by Bruno Mars (too sappy), and “Whistle” by Flo Rida (too distracting because who’s not going to dance to this?).

I think if I ever heard anything by Justin Bieber, I’d make my heart stop so I didn’t have to listen anymore. And then I’d really question whether I made a good life choice by trusting a surgeon who listens to Justin Bieber.

Author: Laura

I have a fern I named Frankenstein. I like leprechauns, practicing kung fu moves on my dining room furniture, and pretending that one day I will move to Fiji. I dislike my neighbors' kids, anything that is chartreuse, and Ben Roethlisberger.

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