Just What I Kneeded

What happens after a life-altering knee injury?

The guy at the bar

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Out for a much-needed night of good company and hilarity, I was rather put out when two guys sat down adjacent to us at the bar. I knew they were already three sheets to the wind when one started thanking his mom for making his presence in the bar that night possible. O-kay.

In this bar, there are three televisions. On one, a Diet Dr Pepper commercial was playing that featured a mountain man (see the video below). I jokingly said to one of my friends (let’s call her Carmen) that I’d found her dream man. Tall, burly and bearded. We laughed; we moved on.

The commercial came on again, and I pointed out to Carmen that her boyfriend was on TV again. She just laughed.

Dude at the bar says, “What, you don’t eat bark?”

Carmen: “Oh yeah. All the time.”

Dude: “Me too.”

Carmen: “What’s your favorite flavor?”

Dude: “Pine. Pine has a nice nutty flavor. What’s your flavor?”

Me (butting in): “I like a nice piece of ash.”


Full disclosure? This would have been much funnier had I been able to actually deliver the line. Instead, I cracked myself up so much, I could hardly speak.


Author: Laura

I have a fern I named Frankenstein. I like leprechauns, practicing kung fu moves on my dining room furniture, and pretending that one day I will move to Fiji. I dislike my neighbors' kids, anything that is chartreuse, and Ben Roethlisberger.

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