“Given your penchant for enthusiasm” is my PT’s code for, “Given your idiotically unrealistic expectations that make you do things you know you shouldn’t.” It’s not my fault that I get so excited about the smallest things! I guess it is my fault that I immediately put to the test any small improvement that I make… I think that makes me my own worst enemy.
She has her own penchant for enthusiasm, particularly when it comes to making me endure (rather painful) soft tissue manipulation. I determined that this could actually be a rather useful skill. She can torture someone (refer to the previously mentioned soft tissue manipulation) and make them hurt for days–all without leaving any external evidence. If they need someone to question prisoners of war, I’d recommend her for the job.
My PT has done soft tissue manipulation for the past few visits, and after the first one, she was explaining to me how I could do the same sort of thing at home between visits. I was asking some questions about what, exactly, I needed to be doing and whatnot. She explained that I could pretty much do the massage on the lateral side of my quad (sort of where the IT band sits, but not quite that far to the side) as hard as I wanted to because that spot is quite capable of repairing the damage. Then she stopped, looked up at me, and said, “Nope. Nevermind. Don’t do that.” I think she forgot who she was talking to for a second.
I tried doing the massage at home, and I managed to bruise my thigh the first time. It was nasty. I was so embarrassed that, at the next PT session, I wore pants tight enough that she couldn’t pull them up far enough to see the bruises. I hadn’t done it intentionally; I thought it was about the same amount of pain that I’d had when she did it, so I thought I was ok. I haven’t massaged again with such fervor, and it’s been working a bit better now. My knee is crackling more, and I don’t know if it’s bad or good. I hope that means things are finally breaking up in there. Maybe the scar tissue is breaking down. We’ll see, I guess.
I saw my surgeon again for a touch base almost two weeks ago, and we still aren’t sure what to do. We’re definitely not doing the extensive reconstruction that surgeon number two suggested, but we also decided we’re not doing anything else since the anesthesia is so hard on me. I’m going to continue PT for the foreseeable future, continue taking the Mobic, wear my TED ho, and somehow try to maintain some sanity.