Just What I Kneeded

What happens after a life-altering knee injury?

“You don’t run the show.”

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PT has now started quoting episodes of Cops to me. Which I find hilarious. One that she admits to watching the show. Two that she finds it quotable. Not so hilarious when she’s quoting it to basically tell me to shut up and get my exercises done when I’m whining about not wanting to do something. Cuz I don’t run the show. She does.

The Fitter. Or, more specifically, the Pro Fitter 3D Cross Trainer. It’s my new nemesis. I’ve secretly been envious of the people I saw on this machine; I’ve wanted to play on it since the first time I saw it at rehab a year ago. But alas. It seemed like it was never meant to be. Until last week! When I saw PT go over and start setting this thing up, I was secretly oh so excited–internally elated. Then I got on the damn thing. It can be used for a variety of exercises, but the one I was supposed to do–the one I’d thought looked like so much fun–is a side-to-side motion that probably helps skiers. PT thought it might be ok for me since I wouldn’t be putting too much weight on the bent knee. Except, I don’t have the strength necessary to smoothly glide back and forth. Or the grace to make it look easy. In short, I feel like an idiot when I’m on it. So much for my idea that it was something fun to do.

New exercises this week include:

Balancing on one leg with eyes closed. (I hear you wondering how this can possibly be an exercise for PT. Why don’t you go stand on a foam mat or pillow and try to balance on one leg with your eyes closed. Get back to me when you realize it’s actually quite difficult.)

Single leg ball toss. (This is literally balancing on one leg and tossing a 6-lb medicine ball in the air and catching it. This one is not as hard as simply balancing with my eyes closed.)

Single leg ball toss while in a half hip hinge position. (This is just like the previous exercise, except I’m leaning forward–bent at the hip–with one leg straight out behind me while tossing the ball. I look ridiculous, I’m sure.)

High steps with weight. Sideways.

Ridiculous leg lift. (This is not what I’m doing, but I found this and thought it was humorous. I might start doing this so I, too, can have a sexy butt. What I’m doing now, though, is leaning on a table and raising one leg straight out to the side as high as I can go and then do small leg lifts. I am not exactly flexible, so I can’t get my leg all that high. I laughed when I realized my limit, but my PT didn’t laugh. She just grabbed my ankle and pulled my leg up higher.)

I was so worn out after my PT session last week. Worn out and sore. I told my sister that my hips hurt so bad, it felt like I’d given birth. But the exciting part is that I can get that worn out without angering my knee so much I can’t function. That’s been a long time coming.


Author: Laura

I have a fern I named Frankenstein. I like leprechauns, practicing kung fu moves on my dining room furniture, and pretending that one day I will move to Fiji. I dislike my neighbors' kids, anything that is chartreuse, and Ben Roethlisberger.

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