Just What I Kneeded

What happens after a life-altering knee injury?

To the old dude in lane 7


Stop. Just stop. You’re a menace to society. There are rules of etiquette that must be followed when you’re in public. Especially when there are impressionable young people around. Like me. (Though I’m not that young, nor really all that impressionable.)

Let’s review some of the most basic rules of how to properly conduct yourself in a public pool.

1. Speedos are not ok unless you look like Ryan Gosling in Crazy Stupid Love. Yeah. It’s true. (See the pic below for reference, if you’re unfamiliar. Ladies, you’re welcome.)

Ryan Gosling.

My future husband. (Pic from Warner Bros.)

2. As an extension to Rule #1, it’s not ok to go swimming in public in a pair of tighty whities. I don’t care if they’re an odd shade of grey. Underwear is underwear, not swimwear. And I don’t want to be confronted with your junk when you get out of the pool.

3. Ask if it’s ok to share the lane before you flop in and smack the person who’s already in the lane with a ferocious wave of water as they’re trying to maneuver a turn.

4. When you’re sharing a lane, stay on YOUR side of the lane. Don’t swim down the middle of the lane where you thigh bump the person sharing the lane. (Yeah. That happened. I felt dirty.)

There really aren’t that many other rules. Except for the universal “don’t pee in the water.” (Apparently, it’s a health hazard, not just gross.) Next time I see you, old dude in lane 7, you better be abiding by the rules. Otherwise, I might drown you.

Physical Therapy Update

Last week was a little tougher than the previous three weeks or so. I had an “incident” at the pool the week before where I couldn’t straighten my leg, and I was pretty sore after the  PT session that followed. In a shining moment of stupidity, I decided that I was going to go on a ride even though I was already hurting. I went 15 miles. I didn’t think it was too bad at first, but it took me a lot longer to recover than the previous three rides. I should not have gotten on the bike when I was already in pain. Noted. But it was so beautiful outside! After the winter we’ve had, the nice weather makes me do impetuous things.

By the time I saw PT this week, I was recovered from the pool incident and biking, and I was able to tell her that much of the pain at rest has dissipated (where “at rest” means when I’m able to have my leg elevated and straight; just simply sitting in a chair with my knee bent still hurts). PT said that no pain at rest is worth having the surgery. Nice to have some relatively objective validation.

We’re working on my IT band now. PT worked me over pretty good in therapy, and I walked out of there for the first time without my knee being the thing that hurt the worst. I knew exactly where my IT band was for two days following the appointment. PT said I’d probably be a “little sore,” and she wasn’t kidding. At home, I’m working on stretching the IT band and working out some of the knots. I’ve been doing foam rolling several times a week, but I’ve kicked it up a notch over the last couple of days. Last night, my thigh was radiating heat after my date with the foam roll. I had to ice the thing down.

In related news, PT has really restricted my bike mileage per week. She gave me a fairly astute lecture (I hate astute lectures because I find it difficult to argue with them) and convinced me to take it easy on the bike because she thinks that’s what’s causing the IT band issues. Way to harsh my mellow, PT.

Author: Laura

I have a fern I named Frankenstein. I like leprechauns, practicing kung fu moves on my dining room furniture, and pretending that one day I will move to Fiji. I dislike my neighbors' kids, anything that is chartreuse, and Ben Roethlisberger.

2 thoughts on “To the old dude in lane 7

  1. Pingback: Wherein I discuss my arse | Just What I Kneeded

  2. Pingback: Props to the PT | Just What I Kneeded

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